某小妹妹(我直覺該女孩比我年輕啦)留言問我的意見。大意是,他並不珍惜她,可是她卻捨不得這段用了兩年光陰來經營的感情。

嗯,我的答案很簡單。你寧願放棄兩年的光陰交換餘下數十年的快樂生活,還是繼續守護這段感情然後讓這個並不善待你的男人陪你走畢剩下的人生呢?從經濟學來講,歲月一去不返,過去的時間或者花去的金錢都是sunk cost所以在下決定的時候並不需要考慮以前的種種。當然,人非草木,要忍痛放棄一段愛情自然心如刀割。所以我認爲還是再給他最後一次機會吧,跟他說白如果這樣繼續下去的話你會離開他,如果他愛你珍惜你不想失去你,對你的態度定會有所收斂,否則的話這男人可以直接扔到垃圾箱去。除此以外,還要觀察他的改變是否長久,如果三數月後又故態復萌,那麽你同樣必須把他一腳踹走。

如果看得懂上文的話,恭喜你。否則的話請你繼續讀下去,雖然我是個不喜歡累贅的人,但是必要時還是多補幾句。在我看來,現在的你能夠忍耐他的無視,只因此君尚未觸踫到你的底綫。即使你倆將來能共諧連理,這種關係繼續下去大概也只有離婚的份兒。到時候你不但花去更多的青春,還要背上失婚婦人之名。雖説現在離婚的人比比皆是,但有誰希望自己的婚姻落得如此下場呢?如果你能夠明白以上的邏輯,離開這個男人自然不是一件難事。

又,假如這男人已經離開了你,那我會送你一瓶香檳,這世界有什麽比扔掉一件垃圾更爽快的?如此普世歡騰的事兒,有需要黯然傷感麽?就算你覺得若有所失甚至失落傷心也是正常的,但不要超過兩周,因爲這種男人不值得你的牽挂。你要重拾自信然後繼續上路,給自己多一點空間,思考將來的路該怎麽走。天涯何處無芳草,即使香港女多男少,也不見得你要委屈自己。擧個例子,你肚子餓得都快死了,有人給你一個毒麵包並告訴你一旦吞下就會一命嗚呼,你還會吃麽?

女人,除了愛別人,還要學會愛自己。

最後我要聲明一下,在愛情上我是個極端理智的女人,最愛的永遠是我自己,但對愛情的付出卻絕對不會少。所以我不懂愛情至上的思維方式,更不清楚他人感情的來龍去脈。要在網絡世界上不負責任自說自話實在容易得很,所以讀者請自行判斷是非真假。

--------------------------------------------------------

小妹妹再次留言,把事情講清楚了。我只能說,這樣的一個男人無論他是多麽優秀都不能給予你幸福,因爲他壓根兒一點自信都沒有。沒有自信的男人不但不敢承擔責任,更可能會逃避問題然後丟下你一個人解決。所以,分開了是件好事。恭喜你!

題外話,這種高分低能的男人在香港比比皆是,大多香港男士光是成績好會賺錢,遇上困難卻不懂得面對。各位女士真要睜大眼睛看清楚!
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assenav 發表在 痞客邦 PIXNET 留言(11) 人氣()


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  • 我不是公主
  • 我都係咁lor..

    不過.. 人始終係人... 都會唔開心.. 嗚...
  • 哈哈,加油啦

    assenav 於 2009/07/20 19:31 回覆

  • 自由行
  • >>女人, 除左愛別人,還要學會愛自己.
    我都係咁話!!!
  • 可惜今時今日 "愛自己" 已被演繹成物質享受,悲哉!
    其實自愛的精粹在於自重,要先學會尊重自己,才能讓自己變得可愛。

    assenav 於 2009/07/20 19:33 回覆

  • Tammy
  • You know, I thank you so much for replying me so elaborately.

    This boy.. he was very very considerate and caring for me even until now, but only when he feels like it. He has a lot of issues to deal with, his insecurity, lack of confidence... Always thinking he is bad (mostly due to his family, he didnt even get any kind of encouragement when he got 6As in HKCEE). 他並不珍惜她, because he thinks sometimes I'm getting something I don't deserve, he thinks I got a lot of chance because I'm a girl, even though he is more diligent and is better than me academically. And the other thing is, he thinks I have been using him as someone to take care of me only... but I'm never giving him love in return. But when I ask myself, do I not love him? I obviously do, but I'm just too immature and selfish to do nice things to him and take them for granted. Only when he is angry with me will I treat him better.. thats what he says..

    And right now he's feeling very down again because of his supposed "failure"... he said i'm only bugging him all the time and annoying him all the time, but he needs space when he is down.. but i'm so scared he'll walk away... that was why I kept bugging him.

    but anyways, all is over now. Today we broke up. I agree I'm an immature girl, but it's crazy to think that one day i can get over him. Maybe you havent experienced this before??
  • don't worry my dear, you'll be fine. time cures everything.

    assenav 於 2009/07/20 19:26 回覆

  • Tammy
  • 沒有自信的男人不但不敢承擔責任,更可能會逃避問題然後丟下你一個人解決。

    You are absolutely right on this.

    At first I got together with him, believing that I could bring more happiness and confidence to him. But I realize that not only could I not seem to help him, our relationships seems to have detrimental effects on him.

    In the past, he will always find me back, but its not solving the problem, he just wants me back. But now, he does not even care any more because he said I treat him bad...

    we're just two inexperienced immature kids.
  • honey darling, bygones are bygones. don't think about it anymore, you have to let go and continue your wonderful life.

    assenav 於 2009/07/21 09:02 回覆

  • 悄悄話
  • 悄悄話
  • 悄悄話
  • 悄悄話
  • 悄悄話
  • 悄悄話
  • sillycatcat
  • 說得很好!
  • 謝謝

    assenav 於 2009/07/23 12:11 回覆

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